Splash Retrievals

DESCRIPTION

Ever wonder what’s cruising beneath the surface? This tee is for the ones paying attention. The USO Splash Retrievalshirt is official gear for those in the know — the sky’s not the limit, it’s just the start. Chest hit keeps it clean with the Nuts and Bolts: Paranormal Research Supply Company seal. Back print features a submerged saucer mid-extraction, flanked by the five oceans where things have gone missing — and come back wrong. Printed in stark white on faded black cotton that looks like it’s been through something. Because maybe it has.

WHAT’S A USO?

USOs — Unidentified Submerged Objects — are like UFOs, but wetter. These are craft spotted under the ocean doing impossible speeds, vanishing into the abyss, or punching through the surface like the laws of physics are a joke. Navy guys, pilots, and even sonar techs have all logged sightings. Most people ignore them. You don’t.

REAL CASE: USS FDR, 1958

During maneuvers in the Atlantic, multiple sailors aboard the USS Franklin D. Roosevelt saw a glowing disc drop into the ocean without making a splash — just dipped beneath the waves like it belonged there. Jets scrambled. Comms went silent. And then… nothing. No official record. No press. Just silence. But people who were there still talk — and they never forgot.